Spike
by kisshufan4ever
Summary: the old Spike was gone and in his place was an empty shell seemingly incapable of loving ever again what will Buffy think of this?


**AN well this is my first Buffy story so be nice lol I don't really care what you think its been typed between lessons when I should of really been doing my work but hay no-one noticed so yay for me any way the characters will be a bit ooc this chapter but all will be explained soon so its intentional just bare with me and they will some what return back to normal soon.**

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The normally loud spike was gone. The new spike wasn't anything like the old. He was barley even their any more, his new look involved the loss of his beloved duster and letting his hair grow back to its natural brown colour, the reason the fact that vampire spike was no more. A run in with a Mohor demon resulted in the broken man that he is now. His clothes where hanging loosely of his body, looking like they belonged to someone else as he trudged down the deserted street and alleys a small breeze tussled his curly brown locks round his face and he shived slightly despite the fact that it wasn't particularly cold he sighed continuing on his path.

Buffy was doing her usual patrol round the streets and cemeteries of Sunnydale, it was unusually quite and so far not a vamp to be seen. Turning round the last corner leading to her house she saw him. He was limping slightly and his blood splattered her hung limply round his face. He took one look at her and despite the limp he ran. Feet pounding on the pavement she gave chase. Thoughts ran through Buffys head at a million miles an hour as she tried to make sense of what was going on. The old Spike had never acted this way around her but she could now see that he old Spike was long gone and it seemed to her at that moment that he may never return again, and though she didn't want to admit it she needed him now. Yet again an apocalypse was coming and she needed all the help she could get.

He didn't want to be seen. He new it had been a bad idea coming back to Sunnydale he should of stayed where he was it was bad another there trying to avoid the poof but now he had a slayer chasing after him just bloody great he sighs. A tiny bit of his old cocky nature returned to his thoughts but as quickly as it arrived it disappeared returning his mind back into the screaming and shouting that he still had not gotten used even after all this time.

Buffy had never figured out what had happened to the bleached blond that had once loved her. Five years since he disappeared of the face of the planet no one had a clue what have become of him not even Dawn had seen or hared from him for all that time. However over the years the memories of the bleached menus faded to the point where they had nearly all forgotten about him until the now. She had so many questions for him and she had not quite figured out why she was speeding down the street after him suddenly he stopped abruptly panting heavily Buffy gazed round her surroundings. His crypt. Well was since his disappearance another vampire had moved in and brought his friends well they had had a very dusty ending but that's not the point spike just stood there staring hurt and sadness flashed through hhis blue eyes as they stood in silence.

"Spike?" Buffy asks breaking the silence for a moment.

He didn't react to her voice at all just continued to stand there staring emotions flicking through his eyes at alarming speed. Abruptly he turned away and marches of only to collapse moments later, breaking out of her temporary shock and runs to the man on the floor. Why she was suddenly caring? She did not know but there she was rushing to his aid. Crouching down she looked down at the lifeless figure on the floor; the only indication that he was alive was the soft mumblings coming from his slightly parted mouth.

"Spike?" she called as she shook the figure. There was no response. She sighed, she took out her phone thanking the powers that she had actually remembered to bring it and called in backup.

"Come on Xander pick up" she mumbled silently to herself finally hearing the carpenters voice on the other end she sighed.

"Xander I need you to come and pick me up," she says getting straight to the point.

"All right buff where are you?" Xander sighs.

"The cemetery" Buffy answered.

"I'll be there in a few minutes" and then he hung up.

~With Xander~

He knew that she had found him. Though he still hated the bleach blonde he was still curious as to what happened to him though he would never admit it. Picking up his car keys he headed to his car letting his thoughts wonder. Nothing much had been happening in Sunnydale lately so the disappearance of captain peroxide was the topic that had been discussed the most though they where careful to not let Buffy here these conversations as he knew that she had been trying to hunt him down the last few months. He had arrived. Parking the car as close as he could to the pair he left the car still running and walked towards them. He glanced down at spike and cringed. Cuts and scars littered his arms and blood was seeping through his clothes and Xander noticed that he was breathing barely but still he was breathing.

"We need to get him to hospital" Buffy explains quietly so silently they lifted him up and into the waiting car. He was virtually weightless; Xander looked through his mirror only half surprised to see Spike in it. Now Xander was worried. Now Xander didn't know what to think. Spike was human suddenly realising the severity of the situation Xander drove faster then he had done in his life arriving at the hospital in no time they managed to get him into the hospital where the doctors took one look at him and rushed hi9m straight into casualty.

Now Xander could think. Looking at the blonde beside him who sat in silence he wondered if she was thinking the same as he was, why did they help him and why was he human?

~Buffy~

Buffy glanced up, a tired looking doctor had spoken to her looking up he had to repeat what he had just said as Buffy had know clue on what had just been said.

"He's in a stable condition for now" He sighed looking at the hopeful face of the girl in front of him. "However he has died twice now and this means we have no idea what state he will be in when he wakes up"

"Can I see him?" Buffy asks.

"Yes I'll lead you through now" normally the doctor would not of allowed this but something about the girl told him that she would see him one way or another so he decided to take the easy option and show her to his room.

Shakily Buffy reached for the doorknob and slowly turned it. Her and Xander entered. She some what noticed that the doctor had left as she glanced round the white room eyes finally coming to rest on a pale figure lying on the bed. The steady beep of a heart monitor was the only thing to break the silence. He looked even more dead then usual. Seeing him their Buffy could now take note of the full extent of his injuries, cuts and bruises littered his body and a large gash across his face.

"That's going to leave a scar," Buffy thinks.

~Xander~

Even he had to emit that the ex vampire was in a bad way, self inflicted wounds coved the lengths of his arms over and over again angry red and pale white, when Xanders gaze shifted to Spikes face he was greeted with a long jagged scar that went diagonally across his face startled Xander gazed at dull blue eyes the sparkle of life that was usually in them was extinguished and ironically he looked deader then he did when he was actually dead "that was a tongue twister" he thought ideally he also decided that whatever had happened to Spike that day had broken him so bad he wondered if he would ever be the same again.

Breaking his gaze with the ex vampire he turned to face Buffy. Her eyes were welling up with tears as they took in the sight of the broken man before them god he would never get used to saying man instead of monster and the thought that what he knew about the world was changing that this man had once been a vampire one of the scourge of Europe in fact and now this once powerful vampire that had a heck of a lot of pride and ego was now reduced to a broken bloody mess lying on a hospital bed whatever had done this Xander really did not want to meet it.

He was broke out of his thoughts by Buffy calling "Spike?" her voice was filled with an uncertainty that Xander didn't think he had hared before.

The ex vampire looked uncomfortable it was like he only half understood that his name had been called. That's when Xander noticed worry flicker across Buffys face and also the time he realised that Buffy actually cared for the man in front of her and for some reason Xander was ok with that.

~Spike~

He was scared. He had been a lot lately, everything he saw or did frightened him and he would have to run. How he had ended up back here he did not all he remembered was the darkness and pain but the only thing that he could make sense of was that it wasn't always like this however the voices in his head painted a bloody scene of carnage before his eyes children and adults screaming and begging for mercy but he never let them cries effect him until now.

One ray of sunshine broke through his eternal darkness one lone angel in all of hell her golden locks flowing round her head in a majestic manner his angel protected him and gave him a reason to live through the hell he had been through who had made him hells only survivor he had escaped through the power of her voice alone, she made him do things that he thought impossible as did the guards he had escaped the bonds that had grounded him into that place and now he was free and his special angel had a name with the force to penetrate his darkness and that name was..

"Buffy?" his voice cracked half way through the word from lack of use or too much screaming he did not know.

Green eyes met blue as he stared at the woman in front of him. She looked upset, for him? A monster like him did not deserve her tears he only deserved hate and suffering not kindness that she seemed willing to share. There was a boy to. That confused Spike he couldn't think who it was no matter how hard he tried the boys identity was a mystery to him concluding that the man was of no concern to him, he looked away taking in his surroundings. Here was a lot of whit he conclude, the voices where preventing him from thinking about what else was in the room; he was vaguely aware of a name being shouted in the background before he drifted into unconsciousness.

~Buffy~

He had recognised her; his voice still echoed the two-syllable word that is her name over and over again in her head, she needed to tell the others. Buffy turned on her heal and walked down the corridor shortly followed by Xander.

When she eventually arrived back at her house she was bombarded with questions of where she had been and how many vamps had she staked. Her one worded reply caused silence to fall over the gang.

"Where is he?" was Angels reply.

"Hospital, he's in a bad way" she sighed she desperately needed some sleep and at this rate she wasn't going to get any.

Giles noticing the slayers slight swaying ordered her to bed causing the Scooby meeting to be broken up and the participants sent home.

~The next morning~

Angel was heading through the sewers; he was on the way to see his childe Buffy hadn't been the most informant about what had happened to the bleached blonde but what he did get out of the pair was that whatever had happened was bad very bad. Though Angel and Spike never got on he was still concerned about him he couldn't help it he was like his sire after all and with that came the need to know exactly what was going on with his little family the feeling of protectiveness towards him was something he had not felt for sometime meaning Spike was in trouble.

Cordy had had a vision that had sent him speeding to Sunnydale a few months ago, it was pretty vague or so she said but the thing that had struck her the hardest was the amount of fear radiating of Spike in waves he needed to get to the hospital fast.

Finally he had arrived at Spikes room, how he had managed to get in and past the reception desk was all but a blare now but what did matter was what was behind this closed door. Clearing his head he opened it. The smell of his blood was almost overwhelming to his sensitive nose; gazing at dull blue eyes he approached the bed slowly.

"Spike?" he was still unsure if this was his grandchilde in his head he knew it was but he couldn't get over him now looking like William which in itself was a strange thought seeing as they where the same person; he was broken out of his ramblings by a quite muttered voice:

"Angel" he didn't even add a nickname like 'peaches or poof'.

"What happened to you?" Angel sighed a tinge of concern in his voice.

"I don't remember" Spike looked away from him. Knowing it was a lie but Angel was just happy knowing that he could get more then two words out of the broken man.

At that point in the very short conversation the rest of the Scooby gang decided to make an appearance. Then the questions started flowing.

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**Ok I didn't want to end it there but I cant think of anything else to type any way the ooc ness will hopefully be explained next chapter well if anyone is actually reading this like I said before this is just a little piece I typed up in random lessons that I used computers so hay hoe more will properly follow seeing as I get board easily. Who knows how long this thing will get lol this is the longest chap iv ever typed :D well if you see any mistakes let me know and I will get round to fixing it.**


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